Sacrament Meeting Reverence for Children Under 6

Any suggestions as to ways we can encourage our children to be more reverent in Sacrament Meeting? We know that the two oldest, ages 5 and 6, are mostly capable but cannot get it out of them. Quiet activities we have a plenty-we do not let them bring toys, food, or sit in the overflow................but they are so NOISY and WHINY NOISY! Maybe my expectations are too high. I'm wondering if some of you use some sort of positive incentive program that works for your family.

Christmas Traditions

I'd also like to hear some of the Christmas Traditions ya'll do in your families...................wanting to add and create some of our own.

Super Mom?

I've been wondering lately, what makes us try to be super moms? What is it that makes us think that everything has to be perfect and, in the meantime, we forget to enjoy the journey? What are the most important things? How do you know? How do you know when you are doing too much? How do we avoid trying to do it all? What are your priorities? What is most important for your family, and how do you fit it all in?

Sleep Help

My 8 month old baby has been wonderful at night. At first she was getting up only twice at night and when I tried to reduce the nursing at night she nearly started sleeping through the night. It's the best time with her - she cries all day if she's not held. As a result, She cries A LOT. :)

So the last two weeks or so she has decided that she no longer wants to sleep so well. She's up 4-5 times a night and will not go back to sleep unless I nurse her. I could let her scream but she shares a room with the two year old who is difficult to get back to sleep.

We have discussed moving the two year old in the room with the two boys while we scream the sleeplessness out of her.........or putting the baby in bed with us which I am soooooooo against although she pretty much sleeps through the night this way. In the past with our babies, we have used what I call the "screaming method" and it has worked and I think would work in a hurry with this one but the sleeping arrangements are not so conducive to this any longer.

Suggestions? Words of wisdom or encouragement?

Tiffany
PS- LuAnn- how ya feeling?

Puzzles

I discovered this week a true gift from Heavenly Father for parents: Puzzles! I can't count the hours the kids have spent this week on puzzles. They enjoy them so much I had to go and spend a small fortune on more. Bliss. Almost no movies this week. *sigh* It was wonderful.

What Makes It All Come Together

My new ward is a good mix of a lot of things. Thrown into that mix are quite a number of home schoolers. I know that not everyone out there thinks that home schooling is a great idea, but this is something that I am very interested in, so I have been visiting the home schooling moms in my ward and finding out why they do what they do and how they make home schooling work for them. This is not a post about home schooling, by the way. I learned something from one of these moms that I think is valuable for everyone, whether or not you choose to homeschool. I wanted to share. I'm not saying that this exact method will work for everyone or is what everyone needs to do, but there are some really valuable ideas in what she shared with me.

This mom that I visited had been homeschooling for a long time and felt like it was not working like she wanted it to. She said she tried many different methods, but nothing really worked until she learned to pray. Once she figured out how to really communicate with our Heavenly Father, everything started to work.

She keeps a prayer journal that she shared with me. She organizes it in a specific way and uses it while she prays. She said that if she were the Primary President, she would go to each presidency meeting with a specific agenda. So, when she prays, she has an agenda, which is written in her prayer journal. She does not write a new agenda every day. She keeps the same agenda for a few weeks and lets that agenda guide her prayers.

Agenda Item #1: After addressing Heavenly Father, she always bears her testimony. This acknowledges God ("hallowed be thy name") and invites the Spirit immediately into her prayer.

Agenda Item #2: She has a list of people outside of her immediate familywho need her prayers in her behalf. Some days she prays for each one individually. Some days she asks for a blessing for all the people on her list.

Agenda Item #3: Gratitude. She expresses gratitude to the Lord for the blessings he has given to her, including trials. Gratitude for trials helps her to see what she is learning and how the Lord is turning her weaknesses into strengths. She frequently records the things she is grateful for in her prayer journal so that she is able to see the "tender mercies" of the Lord as he answers her prayers. (There's a great article about gratitude in the March Ensign.)

Agenda Item #4: Self. She prays for the things that she most needs, attributes that she wants to develop, goals that she needs help accomplishing.

Agenda Item #5: Husband. She prays for the things that her husband most needs and for his success in reaching his goals and his potential.

Agenda Item #6- . . . : Children. She prays for each individual child and their specific needs, difficulties, goals, etc.

Final Agenda Item: Temporal Blessings. She prays for the things her family is in need of. She is very specific. If they are short of money but someone really needs new shoes, she prays for shoes. Specific needs that they cannot meet themselves are what she brings to the Lord.

This is a big list. This is time consuming. She does not do this twice each day. She generally does this in the morning and tries, throughout the day, to keep a prayer in her heart. In the evening she prays briefly to thank him for his blessings and tender mercies.

What this idea is, to me, is a way to help us counsel with the Lord in all our doings. And I know it works. I am still in the beginning stages of finding how this works for me and finding what I need to do to communicate effectively with the Lord. It is something I've struggled with my whole life. However, I decided to give this a try after talking with this woman. I was worried. There were two and a half weeks left in March and we had very little grocery money left. I prayed that I could plan a menu that would fit in the budget and find the necessary food at reasonable prices. I carefully planned a menu and went through the ads. I comparison shopped as much as I could and found the cheapest prices. Then I went shopping at Walmart because they match all the ads. I was blessed to spend way less than I ever do at the store and bought the food that we needed for two weeks. We are not eating gourmet, but we are eating healthy, tasty, inexpensive food, and my prayer was answered. I am excited to counsel with the Lord and receive his help as I try to help my children gain testimonies and my husband reach his potential.

Any good ideas out there on how to help little kids improve on their prayers. If you think about it there are a lot of prayers said during the day from morning prayers to meal time prayers to family prayers and night prayers so at times i think that they are just going through the motions. I have noticed that the kids have a very hard time thinking of new things to say each time. With a some exceptions I can probably tell you exactly what they will say.
I have tried to hold up six or seven fingers during a prayer and when they say something new I put a finger down. I got thinking about this and this makes them not close their eyes and bow their heads. I am also kept from doing so as well. So I guess what I am asking is how do you help kids say meaningful prayers that don't contain the same five repetitive things and also ways to encourage them to kneel reverently each time? Any ideas? By the way this is Bryan posting this time.

Overprotective Overreactor?

Commenting on my last post, Signe asked about maintaining family standards when other family members don't share those same standards. Great question. I haven't run into that problem too much yet, but I was wondering how do I make sure my kids maintain our standards when they go to other people's houses. We are new to Cedar and I don't know the parents of the kids who are inviting my kids over to play. How do I say, "I don't want my kids to watch movies or TV or play any kind of video or computer game at your house" without being rude? I know some kids watch movies and play games I would never want my kids to participate in, especially with how young they are. I want to be in control of those choices for a few more years. Is just telling them that if their friends want to watch TV or a movie or play a computer/video game they need to call me first enough? Is a 5 year old going to remember to do that? I want them to have friends, but I want some control there. HELP!

Toy Monster

So, in our home we have a "Toy Monster." This is the bin I put toys in that I have to pick up or the children don't put away and/or take care of.... I now have TWO BIG bins that are overflowing.

I have tried to make them earn the toys back by paying me money out of their piggy bank or doing a chore. It is not working. They still aren't learning that they need to pick up their toys when they are not playing with them (am I expecting too much?) or the value of money and their toys etc. The chore thing, I'm afraid by doing this they're going to associate chores badly. What think ya'll? Do you have any ideas or things you do that might work better for our family?

I don't think they have too many toys. It just seems they don't care. I've debated giving the toys that I collect away and I've discussed this option with the boys but I'm not ready to go that drastic yet.

eat your veggies!!!

When I start making dinner at night I put out a bowl of grapes, carrots, celery, etc. As the kids (and the hubsters) come in to check on dinner and see "how long tell it's ready???" they always get up to the counter and eat a bit of what I have out. By the time dinner is ready the bowl is ALWAYS empty, and it hasn't seemed to affect their appetites at all.

Its a great way to get a little extra into their diet!

What Are We Teaching At Home?

As usual, I'm reading a book about education. I can't seem to leave those alone. This book that I'm reading right now is a bit different because it's written from and LDS point of view. The author talks about how there are five fundamental parts of any education curriculum: language and expressive arts (dance, painting, music, etc.), math, science, social studies, and morality. All five of these fundamentals have been part of education programs thoughout the world for thousands of years, until recently. I'm sure you can guess which one has been eliminated in the past century: morality.

So, no matter where you choose to educate your children, how do you make sure that they are still being taught morality? How do we teach them what is right and what is wrong? How can we help them to develop a moral character? The world is doing exactly the opposite. We are hearing all the time how things that the Lord has stated emphatically are wrong are now right, good, and acceptable. Those messages are everywhere, and they are wrong; however, unless we are teaching them that those things are wrong, how will our kids learn to distinguish what is right and wrong?

Here, then, is the reason for this post. What are you doing in your home to teach right from wrong? How do you make FHE, family prayer, family scripture study, and other times into effective teaching moments? How are you competing with the confusing messages the world is sending? How are you building fortifications like Captain Moroni to protect your family from the enemy? How are you making sure they aren't missing the most important piece of the curriculum?

I will add my thoughts on this later, but just wondered what you moms think and what you are doing.

Bedtime

So bedtime used to be really challenging in our house. To the point where I just absolutely dreaded it! I used to procrastinate putting them to bed until they were so tired that they could only cry for a few minutes before falling asleep. We had tried so many things. Many people had given me the advice of a routine before bedtime which we had tried such as baths, brush teeth, etc. never worked. They still cried and threw a fit for hours. Needless to say, we all lost sleep over it and all dreaded this time of our day.
Well, about 7 months ago my sister and her 4 kids moved in with us. We took this opportunity to go on a vacation while leaving our kids at home with my sister. We were gone for a week. The night after we came home, my oldest started to head downstairs at bedtime. When I asked where she was going she said she was going down for scriptures. Of course this was kind of hard to hear but it made me think. Now at the time we had a 4yo, 3yo, and a 1yo. I really didn't even think it was possible to have family scripture study. Not only that but I didn't really see the point. I did think it was important for my husband and I to read the scriptures but we understood what we were reading. They obviously wouldn't. We were also experiencing really hard times financially. I don't know about you but when we go through trials, one of the things we do is step back and analyze our lives at the moment and look for ways to bring ourselves closer to the Lord. So we decided we should be having our family scripture study. Although we didn't expect it to change our children's lives at this point, we had faith that simply following the counsel of our leaders would give us blessings that we so desperately needed.
Since mornings were so hectic and rough for us, (mostly due to the late bedtimes =]) we decided to read at night before bed. We got the kids in their pajamas first which they were ok with doing since they weren't going right to bed. Then we brushed teeth and all sat down for scripture time. We decided to read one chapter a night. Our kids love to read so they were pretty excited to have this fun time as a family sitting down to read. Another thing I felt was really important was to include them as much as possible in the reading. Although none of them could read, my 2 oldest could talk. So we let each of them repeat the words to one verse each. This would keep them interested while also teaching them the "language" of the scriptures. After our chapter, we all knelt down for family prayer (which we had already been doing but for some reason, we had a hard time calming them all down and getting them to sit still and participate). Then off to bed. This worked perfectly!
We decided it was very important not to miss a single night. We wanted our kids to see how important scriptures are so we said no matter how late it was or where we were, we would read. Well we really didn't start doing this to make bedtime easier but it naturally did! About a month or so later I realized how nicely it had been going. The kids no longer cried about going to bed, it was amazing! Maybe it's the routine we now have but I firmly believe the Lord is blessing us for following his counsel. I don't know how much my kids are getting out of it either. But it works!
~Ariane

Agency and Motherhood

So, I've been thinking lately about how agency and motherhood go together. How do I teach my kids to use their agency wisely? How much should I "make" them do? How much agency do I allow? I haven't gotten very far and would appreciate any insights.

I did think about this. In 2 Ne. 2:16 it says that we have all been given agency and the ability to act for ourselves, but we cannot act for ourselves "save it should be that [we are] enticed by the one or the other."

Satan uses all manner of enticements to lure us into sin. What sort of enticements do my kids see that lure them and encourage them to live the gospel? The gospel is supposed to be "good news," "glad tidings," and "the great plan of happiness." Do I live the gospel and find joy in it so that my kids want to live like mom? If not, why should they want to live the gospel?

There is a right way to try to entice others to do good and live the gospel. Paul taught, "And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of man, but in the power of God" (1 Cor. 2:4-5).

What I think this means is that we need to bear testimony and live so that the Spirit can guide our words. Then, the Spirit can be the teacher and we can just be the instrument he plays through to reach them. I don't do this yet, but I think we should look every day for an opportunity to share our testimony in some way. That will entice them to use their agency to live the gospel, because it will make them feel so good!

Suggestions on Posting

Hey, thanks everyone for the great ideas and for being willing to participate in this new scheme. Hopefully, the things we share here can help each of us to be a better mom. So, I was thinking, I love all these posts, but I don't know if I know who posted all of them. I tried to send invitations to all of you to be authors on the blog so it would be easier to post and not have to sign in as someone else, but unless you have a gmail account I couldn't do it. It would be nice to know who posters are, though. So, unless you really want to remain anonymous, will you please sign your posts? Thanks! --Lou Anne

More games

Board games are hard for us lately because of a toddler who wrecks pieces. Some of these may not work with just one little one but you could try: charades, we do different themes like animals, things that start with a certain letter, actions we use around the house, different jobs people have etc., Go ahead and join in the alligator chomping fun, it's fun making the kids laugh. Another one is the Freeze, this is a fun clean up game too, dancing and cleaning until mom yells freeze and then go again. Of course there is mother may I, simon says, hopscotch(we found a great book that shows different versions from around the world, some a little easier for younger ones), hot and cold(a favorite with my 3 year old). You my have more you played when you were little, have fun!

Games- What We've Done

I have a 4 and 5 year old and 20 and 2 month old. Since the time we were married we have had Candyland, Shoots and Ladders, Cooties, Jenga...... I remember being frustrated that the children were not quite at the age where they understood concepts of the game. We even went out and bought a duck game where the ducks go around in a revolving circle and you try and get your designated shape before the other players (for age 3 supposedly). Still a little advanced. Last year we got Operation which was a hit. With all the games we have just tried to play them than adapted to the children's "adaptations" of the games. They have made the games age appropriate themselves by creating some new way of playing them. I just have had to watch real closely that they didn't lose or destroy parts. Now my two oldest are starting to understand shapes and counting and are playing the "normal" way but they still have adapted them to their own game rules. Our 20 month old is at the point where she wants to play but is making her own rules. With the duck game- it's a game in and of itself to just pull the ducks on and off and she loves it when Mom and Dad join in. Cooties- it's always been a game to just create their own cootie without rolling dice etc.- just create...........hope that helped. Oh, and yeah, concentration has always been a big hit. You have to find or create watered down versions but they love to find the other duck or bear or something.

Tiffany J

Game Ideas Anyone?

My daughter just turned three and often wants to "play a game,Mommy." The trouble is, we only have one game (a match game I made for her) that she can really play. Other than that, she mostly just wants to get out Mommy and Daddy's games and scatter the pieces and wrinkle the cards. So...any recommendations on games that will work for little ones who can't read yet and can't count well? Candyland makes me crazy, although I'm willing to try and I hear that Cooties is truly annoying. Are there any ones out there that are fun for mom and tot?

Morning Advice from a Friend

A good friend once tipped to me that she doesn't give her children breakfast until they are dressed. I decided to give that a try in my home and it has worked like a charm. I've added that they have to have their bed made as well. It works wonderfully and if they don't get breakfast before going to preschool.....well..........it's because they neglected their little "responsibility." I love it. In fact, I love it so much that I'm now adding their morning chore: unloading the dishwasher.

Anyway, it helps me keep my mornings nag-free (on my behalf only!) because they already know what they have to do in order to fill their tummies!

To interfere or not?

With morning sickness hanging around over the past month and a half I've had to let a few things slide. In most cases it gets pretty bad, messy rooms, backed up laundry, less than complete meals(except when generous RS sisters help out, thanks again) However I've been pleasantly surprised with something I wasn't expecting, harmony in the home(or relative harmony) I'm usually on hand to break up fights, discipline for hitting, name calling etc. Forcing sorries, hugs & kisses. Lately my response for "so and so hit me." has turned from, "so and so come say sorry and sit in time out." to- "I'm sorry, can you get mommy a tissue for the baby?"
Maybe everyone else has already figured this out but by butting out of my kids issues they seem to have less of them. At first I thought they just figured, mom's too sick to care but now it seems they enjoy resolving conflicts. Sometimes it's big brother suggesting taking turns or little sis splitting the quesadilla in half(this was very cute) "I'll break it in half for you" for the two big brothers. Sorry to go on and on but maybe it's worth a try, the first week wasn't pretty but I can say now fighting is ALMOST non existent. I will let you know if this was all just a fluke or Heavenly Father helping me out because he sees my mile high pile of laundry and knows I need it!

Washing Dishes & Work

So last night I forgot to turn on the dishwasher and it was too full to put the breakfast dishes in this morning. I ran a sink of water and asked my daughter, aged 3, to come rinse for me while I washed the dishes. That was not what she wanted to do. She wanted to wash the dishes. My five year old son wanted to rinse. They were both still in their pj's and we had a somewhat busy morning planned, but they were so excited that I let them do the dishes by themselves. It took a really long time, but I got the vacuuming and a few other things done while they scrubbed and splashed and gave themselves bubble beards. If we're all sick tomorrow we'll know that this was a bad idea and that I should probably delete this post.

What does this teach? I think that while our kids are excited about work is the time to teach them to do it. They want to be a part of things and don't understand that their help is often more of a hindrance. This enthusiasm, though, makes them eager learners. So, for moms, this is the time to slow down, be patient, and let them learn and help. In a few years, I'm sure, they will want nothing to do with washing the dishes, but for right now, they are learning how to do it with great excitement; in fact, later this morning we found our daughter in the bathroom with a sink full of water, soap, and all the dishes from her pretend kitchen. A mess? Yes! But what's not to love about that excitement! --Lou Anne

Welcome!

I have recently known a lot of great moms and have seen other moms that I wished I knew and could get some ideas from. I feel like I have some ideas of how to be the kind of mom I want to be, but I fall short in many ways and need ideas that will bless my kids' lives and build their testimonies. I realize that we have the perfect parenting manual in the scriptures, but I don't always catch the messages I need. This blog is for moms to share ideas that work for them. Post on here things that you think might help other moms, and hopefully we can all grow together. I don't want to be the sole contributor! Thanks! Lou Anne