Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Overprotective Overreactor?
Commenting on my last post, Signe asked about maintaining family standards when other family members don't share those same standards. Great question. I haven't run into that problem too much yet, but I was wondering how do I make sure my kids maintain our standards when they go to other people's houses. We are new to Cedar and I don't know the parents of the kids who are inviting my kids over to play. How do I say, "I don't want my kids to watch movies or TV or play any kind of video or computer game at your house" without being rude? I know some kids watch movies and play games I would never want my kids to participate in, especially with how young they are. I want to be in control of those choices for a few more years. Is just telling them that if their friends want to watch TV or a movie or play a computer/video game they need to call me first enough? Is a 5 year old going to remember to do that? I want them to have friends, but I want some control there. HELP!
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I tell parents bluntly. I warn them first that I'm about to be blunt. I guess I have no tact. I don't think that telling them you do those activities only at your house is being rude. Any parent who has the the well-being of their children in mind I think would appreciate this.
ReplyDeleteBut, I am a little naive.......
That is such a hard situation, especially because you don't know the parents well.
ReplyDeleteI think that talking to the kids about it will help. Also not being at the house for more than an hour or two wouldn't leave a ton of time for movies or video games.
Just do what you feel good about, good luck!
In response to Signe's question, I feel that with family, they should be understanding. I think that you should just explain what you don't want around your family. You don't have to go on about why or say that you think those things are evil. You simply need to tell them that that's not something you feel they need in their lives. I mean, would they be offended if you didn't want to eat one of their cupcakes because you didn't want the extra calories? In my opinion, anyone who got offended by you not wanting your family watching a show or playing a video game or something is really being forced to look at themselves and is questioning their own values. I think it's a good thing to stand for what you believe to be right. We need to keep ourselves from going the way of the world. We shouldn't be concerned about the way others will look at us for doing so. If anything you are setting a good example. I think it's important to talk with your kids though and prepare them before hand. They need to know that not everyone does things the same way that your family does but explain to them why you don't do certain things. Bare your testimony to them and the spirit will help them gain their own testimony which is what they really need to be able to make those decisions on their own in the future. Sorry, I'm rambling haha! I just feel strongly about not being afraid to be different. =]
ReplyDeleteThank you for the good advice. Sometimes I'm afraid to voice concerns because there are some confrontational people in my family which is something I try to avoid. I've told my kids some of the things we don't do but probably haven't been as good as I could at explaining why and sharing testimony of what brings true happiness. Thanks again.
ReplyDelete