Overprotective Overreactor?

Commenting on my last post, Signe asked about maintaining family standards when other family members don't share those same standards. Great question. I haven't run into that problem too much yet, but I was wondering how do I make sure my kids maintain our standards when they go to other people's houses. We are new to Cedar and I don't know the parents of the kids who are inviting my kids over to play. How do I say, "I don't want my kids to watch movies or TV or play any kind of video or computer game at your house" without being rude? I know some kids watch movies and play games I would never want my kids to participate in, especially with how young they are. I want to be in control of those choices for a few more years. Is just telling them that if their friends want to watch TV or a movie or play a computer/video game they need to call me first enough? Is a 5 year old going to remember to do that? I want them to have friends, but I want some control there. HELP!

Toy Monster

So, in our home we have a "Toy Monster." This is the bin I put toys in that I have to pick up or the children don't put away and/or take care of.... I now have TWO BIG bins that are overflowing.

I have tried to make them earn the toys back by paying me money out of their piggy bank or doing a chore. It is not working. They still aren't learning that they need to pick up their toys when they are not playing with them (am I expecting too much?) or the value of money and their toys etc. The chore thing, I'm afraid by doing this they're going to associate chores badly. What think ya'll? Do you have any ideas or things you do that might work better for our family?

I don't think they have too many toys. It just seems they don't care. I've debated giving the toys that I collect away and I've discussed this option with the boys but I'm not ready to go that drastic yet.

eat your veggies!!!

When I start making dinner at night I put out a bowl of grapes, carrots, celery, etc. As the kids (and the hubsters) come in to check on dinner and see "how long tell it's ready???" they always get up to the counter and eat a bit of what I have out. By the time dinner is ready the bowl is ALWAYS empty, and it hasn't seemed to affect their appetites at all.

Its a great way to get a little extra into their diet!

What Are We Teaching At Home?

As usual, I'm reading a book about education. I can't seem to leave those alone. This book that I'm reading right now is a bit different because it's written from and LDS point of view. The author talks about how there are five fundamental parts of any education curriculum: language and expressive arts (dance, painting, music, etc.), math, science, social studies, and morality. All five of these fundamentals have been part of education programs thoughout the world for thousands of years, until recently. I'm sure you can guess which one has been eliminated in the past century: morality.

So, no matter where you choose to educate your children, how do you make sure that they are still being taught morality? How do we teach them what is right and what is wrong? How can we help them to develop a moral character? The world is doing exactly the opposite. We are hearing all the time how things that the Lord has stated emphatically are wrong are now right, good, and acceptable. Those messages are everywhere, and they are wrong; however, unless we are teaching them that those things are wrong, how will our kids learn to distinguish what is right and wrong?

Here, then, is the reason for this post. What are you doing in your home to teach right from wrong? How do you make FHE, family prayer, family scripture study, and other times into effective teaching moments? How are you competing with the confusing messages the world is sending? How are you building fortifications like Captain Moroni to protect your family from the enemy? How are you making sure they aren't missing the most important piece of the curriculum?

I will add my thoughts on this later, but just wondered what you moms think and what you are doing.

Bedtime

So bedtime used to be really challenging in our house. To the point where I just absolutely dreaded it! I used to procrastinate putting them to bed until they were so tired that they could only cry for a few minutes before falling asleep. We had tried so many things. Many people had given me the advice of a routine before bedtime which we had tried such as baths, brush teeth, etc. never worked. They still cried and threw a fit for hours. Needless to say, we all lost sleep over it and all dreaded this time of our day.
Well, about 7 months ago my sister and her 4 kids moved in with us. We took this opportunity to go on a vacation while leaving our kids at home with my sister. We were gone for a week. The night after we came home, my oldest started to head downstairs at bedtime. When I asked where she was going she said she was going down for scriptures. Of course this was kind of hard to hear but it made me think. Now at the time we had a 4yo, 3yo, and a 1yo. I really didn't even think it was possible to have family scripture study. Not only that but I didn't really see the point. I did think it was important for my husband and I to read the scriptures but we understood what we were reading. They obviously wouldn't. We were also experiencing really hard times financially. I don't know about you but when we go through trials, one of the things we do is step back and analyze our lives at the moment and look for ways to bring ourselves closer to the Lord. So we decided we should be having our family scripture study. Although we didn't expect it to change our children's lives at this point, we had faith that simply following the counsel of our leaders would give us blessings that we so desperately needed.
Since mornings were so hectic and rough for us, (mostly due to the late bedtimes =]) we decided to read at night before bed. We got the kids in their pajamas first which they were ok with doing since they weren't going right to bed. Then we brushed teeth and all sat down for scripture time. We decided to read one chapter a night. Our kids love to read so they were pretty excited to have this fun time as a family sitting down to read. Another thing I felt was really important was to include them as much as possible in the reading. Although none of them could read, my 2 oldest could talk. So we let each of them repeat the words to one verse each. This would keep them interested while also teaching them the "language" of the scriptures. After our chapter, we all knelt down for family prayer (which we had already been doing but for some reason, we had a hard time calming them all down and getting them to sit still and participate). Then off to bed. This worked perfectly!
We decided it was very important not to miss a single night. We wanted our kids to see how important scriptures are so we said no matter how late it was or where we were, we would read. Well we really didn't start doing this to make bedtime easier but it naturally did! About a month or so later I realized how nicely it had been going. The kids no longer cried about going to bed, it was amazing! Maybe it's the routine we now have but I firmly believe the Lord is blessing us for following his counsel. I don't know how much my kids are getting out of it either. But it works!
~Ariane

Agency and Motherhood

So, I've been thinking lately about how agency and motherhood go together. How do I teach my kids to use their agency wisely? How much should I "make" them do? How much agency do I allow? I haven't gotten very far and would appreciate any insights.

I did think about this. In 2 Ne. 2:16 it says that we have all been given agency and the ability to act for ourselves, but we cannot act for ourselves "save it should be that [we are] enticed by the one or the other."

Satan uses all manner of enticements to lure us into sin. What sort of enticements do my kids see that lure them and encourage them to live the gospel? The gospel is supposed to be "good news," "glad tidings," and "the great plan of happiness." Do I live the gospel and find joy in it so that my kids want to live like mom? If not, why should they want to live the gospel?

There is a right way to try to entice others to do good and live the gospel. Paul taught, "And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of man, but in the power of God" (1 Cor. 2:4-5).

What I think this means is that we need to bear testimony and live so that the Spirit can guide our words. Then, the Spirit can be the teacher and we can just be the instrument he plays through to reach them. I don't do this yet, but I think we should look every day for an opportunity to share our testimony in some way. That will entice them to use their agency to live the gospel, because it will make them feel so good!